dindatc

I grew up in a society that put value on success & achievements more than anything. If you know anything about my home country, you probably wouldn't believe that they are so achievement-oriented. In fact, it's not the majority of the people there, but only a small subset of upper-middle class who put all efforts into finishing up the track of the defined success.

What do they consider as a success? It's being able to tick the boxes of whatever the society label as a success. Going into good school, be the top student in the class, getting a good & stable job at either well-known corporation or state-owned enterprise, earning enough money to buy a house, starting a family, etc.

I'd like to focus more on "going into good school" part as it has pretty much narrowed down both my mindset and my exposure towards people from different backgrounds. I put enough efforts during my school years in order to be able to continuously go to top schools. I didn't think I have a choice. I had to go to a top-ranked school, or else I'd rather not continue school at all.

There's something wrong with this kind of thinking. By going into only top schools, I met only similar-minded people. I believed that everyone needs to be smart, otherwise they're useless. I also believed that the only reason people didn't go to top school is because they're not smart enough. Those are flawed & very narrow-minded beliefs.

What did those shape me into? I became scared of mediocrity. I feel like mediocrity is a failure. I'm always feeling like my world falls apart whenever I'm not above average or when I'm not at an above average place. I feel like I'm at the wrong place if the people around me aren't brilliant, or if the company I'm working for is not a market leader. I feel insecure all the time. It's not because I'm scared of how other people are gonna see me if I'm mediocre; it's purely because of how I will judge myself.

But I slowly realize that there are so much more to life. I think the most important thing is to be happy, and we shouldn't make it difficult for ourselves to make us happy.

PS: I have a note at home to remind myself to be excellent.